


journey to the past (the things my heart used to know remix)

by hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Amnesia, Childhood Friends, M/M, Magic, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:29:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22615624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiasobi_writes/pseuds/hollyandvice
Summary: "You seek to forget the past," she whispers. "You will learn how important the past can be."In which Tony loses his memories and only a remnant of his past can restore them.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 74
Collections: 2020 Captain America/Iron Man Remix Madness





	journey to the past (the things my heart used to know remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [things my heart used to know, things it yearns to remember](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13166532) by [Fluffypanda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluffypanda/pseuds/Fluffypanda). 
  * In response to a prompt by [Fluffypanda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluffypanda/pseuds/Fluffypanda) in the [2020_Cap_Ironman_Remix_Madness](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/2020_Cap_Ironman_Remix_Madness) collection. 



> Written for the CapIronman Remix Madness event.

There's magic and color and for a brief moment, Tony falls into her enchantment. His breath catches with wonder and for a second he wonders at the warmth in his chest. Something he's felt before. Something he'd forgotten. Something he'd feared he'd never feel again.

Her magic looms large in his vision and he rears back, suddenly terrified of the power she wields. There's a reason magic is illegal and she is it.

Before he can call for Pepper or Happy, though, she's reaching out, her fingertip landing lightly on his lips.

"You seek to forget the past," she whispers. "You will learn how important the past can be."

Tony opens his mouth to answer, but then she's kissing him and everything goes dark.

* * *

He comes awake to a woman shaking him, her warm eyes concerned but distant. He knows right away that something's wrong.

"Tony?"

He blinks at the name. Tony. Does he know a Tony? No. No, he doesn't. He doesn't know anyone, as a matter of fact. He looks away.

The woman grabs him by the chin, pulling his head around to face her. He slaps her hand away, then blinks at the instinctive reaction. The woman frowns. "Tony. What happened?"

Wait. Is he Tony? Is that what's going on here?

The woman swears and grabs a little back box from her hip. "Happy, search the grounds. She's gone and she got to Tony before she got away."

" _Is he okay?_ "

He blinks at the sound coming from the little box in the woman's hands. Huh. Strange.

"He'll be fine, Happy, but we have to find her and get her to reverse the spell.

"You can't," he says

The woman blinks down at him, looking stunned by his words. "Tony, what are you talking about? All magic can be undone."

"I know," and he does know that, at least. "But she can't undo this magic."

"Then what can?"

He — Tony? That must be his name, though he doesn't remember it — lets the idle smile slip over his face at her question. "The same thing that always cures curses set on the arrogant and cruel." The woman's breath catches. "True love's kiss."

* * *

Tony doesn't remember anything from before. They tell him he's a leader, a lord over lands that spread far and wide. They tell him about the power of his engineering and the strength of his enemies' magic. They tell him about the people that serve and support him and how far he's gone to keep them all safe and secure after he'd lost his parents so young.

He wonders what they aren't telling him. There must be a reason his true love hasn't come to save him yet.

In the meantime, he's become well acquainted with the woman called Pepper and the man called Happy. Pepper had been the first to try to cure him, but she seemed to know that it wouldn't work before she'd even tried. She'd kissed his lips as tenderly as she could, but Tony could tell that her heart wasn't in it.

"I'm sorry, Tony."

"Why?"

"It's our job to vet all your clients. If she got through our background checks, who knows who else could get to you?"

Tony laughs. "I trust you both. Besides, she would have gotten through regardless."

"How can you be so sure?"

Tony shrugs. "She had her reasons, and they were fierce enough to get through whatever you might have put in her way. At least this way she didn't hurt you two either."

Pepper and Happy had glanced at each other at that, seeming to share an unspoken understanding. "That's... very kind of you, Tony," Pepper says.

Tony shrugs. "That's what I'm supposed to be, isn't it?"

Another glance. "Yes," Pepper agrees. "Yes, I suppose it is."

* * *

It's days before Pepper and Happy become convinced that the amnesia really isn't going away by itself. Tony had known from the start, but they hadn't wanted to believe him. Now, though, they seem to have accepted the strength of the witch's magic. Instead of waiting for her spell to wear off, they have gone the opposite route and started scrambling to find anyone he's ever dated out of the vain hope and desperate wish that one of them might be his true love.

For his part, Tony just becomes more and more discouraged with every person they parade in front of him. What kind of person must he have been to have had so many fleeting relationships? What kind of person must he have been to think so little of the people he spent his time with? He'd overheard Pepper and Happy talking about someone called Rumiko that had refused to come when they'd asked her to. What kind of person must he have been before? He's not entirely sure that he wants to meet that man.

Days turn to weeks, and Pepper and Happy seem to despair of finding someone to cure him. For his part, Tony can't find it in himself to worry about it too much. There's plenty he can do without his memories of the past. He still has his mind, still has his understanding of engineering. If Happy is to be believed, that might have been his one true love.

"Maybe if you can convince DUM-E to kiss you," Happy had said, clearly trying for the light sort of banter they'd enjoyed before.

Tony had offered him a smile. "Which one's Dummy?"

Happy's face had fallen, tightening something in Tony's stomach. He looks away and swallows down his apology. He knows already that those are a surefire way to get Happy and Pepper worried.

* * *

A man called James comes calling about six weeks into the frantic search for Tony's true love.

"Rhodey," he says to Tony, his eyes dark and pained. "Call me Rhodey." Then, to Pepper. "Why didn't you call me back sooner?"

"We'd hoped it would go away on its own, and when it didn't we thought we'd try with his lovers first."

"You know how he feels about them. Dammit, if you'd called me sooner I could have helped him!"

"You think you might be his true love?" Pepper sounds somewhere between hopeful and skeptical

"More likely me than anyone else in his life if it wasn't you two!"

" _He_ is sitting right here, thank you very much."

Pepper and Rhodey both turn to look at him as one. Rhodey's face hardens, and then he's marching across the room to plant a kiss on Tony's mouth.

Tony's long since become used to such treatment. He leans into this kiss regardless, but there's no spark, no recognition, no flood of memories. Tony sighs and pulls back, shaking his head at them. "Nothing." Rhodey makes a frustrated noise that tugs at Tony's stomach. "I'm sorry?" he tries.

"Nothing to be sorry for, Tony," Pepper assures him. "It's just. It's frustrating."

Tony nods. It's clear that his time to speak has passed if the way the two of them are talking is any indication. He lets his attention wander to his mechanics, fingers twisting wire and pressing metal together idly as they argue.

"It's okay," he says when their voices raise to a fever pitch. They both fall silent and turn to look at him. He smiles up at them. "It's okay if I never remember. Maybe... maybe it's better this way."

Rhodey makes a wounded sound and storms off out of the room. Pepper hurries after him, throwing a quick apologetic glance over her shoulder at Tony as she goes.

Tony shrugs to himself, turning back to his contraption. Let them worry. He can still do what he needs to do without his memories.

* * *

Rhodey and Pepper put out a press release announcing the search for Tony's true love. Tony rolls his eyes at the grandiosity of it all. People come to try their shot at his hand. Women, men, some in their twenties, some in their eighties. Tony doesn't much care, save for those days when Pepper has scheduled so many suitors that Tony's lips have gone raw and numb from all the kissing.

It's after nearly a month of such treatment that Tony finally snaps.

"One day, Pepper. That's all I'm asking. One day to myself. Just me and this big old mansion that apparently was my only home. Just... just give me a day to myself. Then I'll do whatever you want me to do."

Pepper hesitates. "Tony—"

"Please, Pepper. Just one day."

Pepper relents. "Okay, Tony. If you say so."

"I do."

Pepper and Rhodey and Happy all clear out the next morning at Tony's insistence. There's something about the place, so huge and barren that leaves Tony feeling all the more bereft himself. For all that he hasn't let himself really wonder about the man he was before, he can't shake that want in his chest that has him seeking endlessly for his truth. Somehow he knows that truth is here, in the unopened parts of his home. Places untouched by humans for years. He opens them up, wandering across the dust-covered rugs and wood of the house.

Halfway across one of the balconies a floorboard creaks underfoot. The dust stirs and settles under Tony's feet as he kneels down. There's something else stirring in the back of his mind, reaching for his memory in a way that urges him to pull up the floorboard. There's a box underneath that pulls similarly at the back of his mind. He pries that open too, pulling out the piece of paper within. He unfolds it to find a child's drawing, two young boys and a small mechanical dog toy between them. He traces his fingers over it, something swelling and swooning in his heart. The toy looks like something he might have made in his younger days. Something childish and warm and _fun_. Something—

Another floorboard creaks and Tony's on his feet in an instant. He draws the gun Rhodey had pressed into his hands at Pepper and Happy's insistence before they'd all left. He's suddenly grateful they had.

"Who's there?"

Tony doesn't need to look far. There's a man standing with his back to him, shoulders taut around his ears. "I—"

"Put your hands up and turn around slowly," Tony says, easing to his feet and placing the drawing in his pocket.

The man does as he's told, blue eyes brilliant even in the half-light of the room. There's something warm there, warm and hopeful. "Tony—"

Tony takes a step closer, gun still held out pointedly. "What the hell are you doing in my house?"

The man swallows. "I— uh, I’m here because—"

Tony's eyes catch on the toy in the man's hand. Still holding the gun out, he takes two steps closer. The dim light in the room can't disguise the curves and edges that precisely mirror the one in the drawing Tony had found. "Where did you get that?" he hisses.

The man blinks up to look at the toy in his hand. He seems surprised to see it there. He turns back to Tony, his eyes wide and aching. "You gave it to me."

Tony's throat goes tight. So he'd been right. The drawing tries to burn a hole in his pocket and it sets his teeth on edge. "Why did you come here?"

The man's eyes go sad. "I hoped I could help break your curse. I don’t know why, it was silly of me to think…" He swallows, looking away. "You don’t deserve this, Tony."

It's the first time anyone's said that in all the weeks of searching.

"I know you only have until winter's end, and some part of me thought— _hoped_ —"

Tony doesn't get to hear what the man had hoped. He's too busy lowering his gun to his side and darting forward to press his lips to the man's.

* * *

The first brush of lips is enough for everything to come flooding back. Steve. That's the man's name. His name is Steve. And he's— oh.

Tony pulls back, fingers of his free hand flying up to press to his lips in an attempt to lessen the burn there. The burn and press of hope and reconciliation and memories and—

A childhood spent dawdling in the kitchens with Steve and his mother Sarah. She'd been kind, so kind and beautiful and— oh. And then she'd passed, and Tony had never—

Teenaged years of sneaking out onto the grounds to see Steve. Weeks and months and years of clandestine meetings, all suppressed after—

Twenty-one and he'd lost his parents, so far from ready to take the role of Lord of the land. He'd pushed Steve aside out of his own grief. No. At Obie's urging? Yes; he'd said a low-born could never be his partner and—

Twenty-four and discovering Obie's betrayal, the money he'd skimmed from the royal coffers and, God, how that had hurt. Losing Obie, his last tie to the past without—

Twenty-seven and thirty and thirty-two; Rhodey and Pepper and Happy; Tony himself doing whatever he could to quiet the dragon in his chest that so yearned for—

"Steve."

Steve's eyes brighten. "Tony?"

Tony pulls back, fumbling the gun to put the safety back on and then letting it clatter irresponsibly to the floor. He looks back up at Steve and clutches his fingers back up to his mouth. "Oh, God, Steve..."

"Shh," Steve hushes, leaning in and wrapping his strong arms — and when had Steve gotten so _tall_ — around Tony. "I'm here."

Tony chokes on a sob. "Yes," he whispers. "Yes, you are." He smiles up at Steve. "And I'm so glad."

Steve smiles radiantly back before leaning down and kissing Tony senseless. It's everything that's been missing for the last few months. The last few years, really. But Tony can't complain. He has Steve with him now and that's what really matters.


End file.
